


Something that shouldn't be said

by -yangtangliu (orphan_account)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 50 per cent of this is sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun, Breaking Up & Making Up, But it eventually becomes functional, But we still die like men, Dysfunctional Relationships, Heavy Angst, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, M/M, Porn, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Power Bottom Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Sorry™, Sort of beta read, Ten calls him baby alot, Top Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun-centric, he also has a gege kink, ot7 was here but they aren't all important
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:13:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25109803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/-yangtangliu
Summary: Dejun should have known his feelings in the first place were the farthest from casual or platonic. He should have known from the start. Or, Dejun and Ten are dysfunctional, but they figure it out, sort of.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten & Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	Something that shouldn't be said

**Author's Note:**

> yo its ur fav author back with pining slow burn smut, god do I like writing my idols suffering,,, but this time it’s not mark so character development I guess. 
> 
> To my Tumblr group chat, thanks for letting me spoil 90 per cent of this, yall really helped me want to finish this, even if i did scar you. to yutamatic, thanks for saying you liked it, it made me work on it more. Ahahahaha, and to everyone else, I’m not sorry, this is my CHILD, and I’m fcking proud.
> 
> And side note happy fourth anniversary to NCT 127
> 
> FYI: there's a lot of spelling mistakes...

_**—— zero** _

Xiao Dejun considers himself a rational person. More often than not if he’s going to do something stupid or idiotic he’s either doing it with Yangyang or Hendery (or both) so he knows the punishment for being caught will be shared. Or it’s stupid to get his point across, or other people initially think it’s stupid until they realize he has reasoning. Essentially if he’s gonna act like an idiot it better have some sort of benefit coming out of his actions.

But this, _this?_ This was completely uncalled for, overbearingly stupid, something no sane person would do. The last time he fucked up this bad was when in the sixth grade he dropped the f-bomb because someone made fun of his obsession with harry potter. That phase is very much over though don’t worry all his cringey fanfiction is deleted off china’s version of wattpad. But anyways Dejun has done the worst of the worst, the single thing that could have his job taken away and his international horny thirteen year old stans screaming for joy till they realize he has to leave NCT.

He’s fucked up so bad—in his opinions—it’d probably make his mother disown him. Okay now he’s just hyperventilating but Dejun still hasn’t spilled his secret. Right. Yeah. He fell in love with the one and only Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul. Insert the smiling face with apostrophe because that’s exactly how he feels, right about now.

Thing is, in a _normal_ situation falling in love with a group member would not be such a bad or idiotic thing to do. You kind of let it pass eventually, like all crushes. But Ten is not the average person and they don’t really have the normal relationships. Dejun and Ten kind of sort of mayhaps started hooking up after Dejun figured his kind of crush was just a little infatuation with him. Which in the terms of Ten—who is painfully gay is not a good thing.

In a more perfect world Dejun would have fallen in love with at least someone like Hendery who is either going to have a higher chance of liking him back or at least a higher chance of wanting to try for him. That simply just doesn’t happen in God’s cruel world though is all Dejun supposes. To put it shortly so you don’t blame Dejun for bad and idiotic self, they start hooking up. Like the whole deal Ten let’s Dejun—who litteraly just turned legal—fuck his ass, get fucked by him, give him blowjobs, and more. He’s shy because things are weird and different but Ten is teaching him while he falls just a little more in love with him everytime they fuck. It’s really the worst of arrangements.

Though where we start the story is not with a sex scene but with our main star is laying pathetically on Yangyang’s bottom bunk because he doesn’t wanna get up while he stares at his instagram feed, or more specifically, Ten’s goddamn black nails.

Yeah, Dejun is in dire need of help.

“Yah, Xiao Dejun get off my bed!”

“No I’m dying inside let me be.”

Yangyang jumps on top of him with a little smirk and Dejun only lets out a little huff, shoving his phone upwards so he can keep on looking at the picture of Ten’s dried black nails. Yangyang holds out a hand for his phone to look at it and Dejun only sighs, handing the device over. He hears Yangyang whistle through his teeth—a trick Mark probably taught him with the obnoxious amount of time he spends over in that hellhole that is the dream dorms before looking up.

“Ten-ge’s _nails_ got you all worked up? Damn, no wonder you’re this annoyed looking.”

“Only you would willingly jump on me despite that.” Dejun groans and puts a hand on his face. “Can you please leave me alone? I wanna pretend to be the delulu fangirl I’ll never be, because in my mind we’re happily married with six children livin’ the american dream on a private island.”

Yangyang rolls his eyes, used to his antics. “Whatever floats your darkass eyebrows bro, I was sent in here to tell you Kun’s done with cooking dinner and that Hendery is just trying to adopt Ten into his emo cult, it won't last that long hopefully.”

“I wanna be in a fucking emo cult.”

Yangyang laughs and lifts himself up from the bed. “Whatever, I already said what I need to say and then some. Ten’s cool, you like his nails? Nice. You like him? Already knew that loser, just don’t get caught.” With a cheeky wink he leaves.

_**—— one** _

Things weren’t always this way, Dejun publicly and tiredly talking about Ten. In fact at one point he thought it was just a Yangyang thing—frankly, a lot of things are a Yangyang thing if he’s honest with himself—and he’d be happy working out with Lucas and having Kun as his only older friend. If he _did_ have to start a pinpoint date of when all the shit started going down for him, everything did seem to all come back and lead to Early May. This being around the time when the final prep for their album was being finished up and recording being finalized.

Compared to the general public or Yangyang and Hendery at this point in time Dejun is considering it all just an extreme rush of admiration and crushing, unlike said general public. Dejun finds it weird how things didn’t start when they first started recording for the riot, but rather later when they started album recordings. Dejun and Ten recorded separately for that as well, so it was weird to only just now be in the same room recording together. Filming for the riot’s promotional video will only later occur, but for now where the story starts Ten is across from him in the recording studio and a bottle of water sits on the table in between them.

Ten suggested they record together for the album because of the beginning and bridge of the song and Dejun agreed while Kun had given him an unreadable look he was blaming on Kunten dynamics. They were like the dads of the group if that was anything to go by. The song kind of reminded him of a lgbt+ drama Renjun might have recommended him. It was called the untamed and Dejun _meant_ to finish it but album promotions and Wei Ying was kind of being bitchy where he left off. But like clans, fancy magical swords, and other traditional chinese vibes y’know?

Ten was also no stranger to recording without the overlooking eyes of his other members—The Seventh Sense, Dream in a Dream, New Heroes, and Baby Don’t Stop—were all beautiful results of that. Dejun was just nervous since this would be his first time recording with Kun, so he was slightly nervous. Dejun and Kun’s relationship had bloomed out of music and Dejun’s desire to have an older friend. He loved Hendery and Yangyang to pieces—they were like brothers—but all the other hyungs were too different for him. Sicheng-ge was quiet and didn’t like to talk that much, Yukhei-ge was loud, worked out with him, and also still kind of his age, and Ten-ge was a little too perfect for his tastes. Which is exactly how he ended up depending on Kun during recording and all things else.

But this brings us to his first recording without him and instead with the one and only human form of perfection. Ten effortlessly let’s the words slide off his mouth, and when they don’t, he cutely covers his mouth with one hand, looking over at the manager before trying again. It’s adorable the way he preens at the praise and nods with a firm smile at the criticism. His english is good, or at least it sounds like the white people on TV and the manager praises him alot. He’s like a all around perfect person.

This is when Dejun first notices his conflicting feelings, which is why his memory of the day is crystal clear like CLC and the soft water coming out of a stream. It was also a bit of a new experience for Dejun because he only went into Ten and Hendery’s room to bother the latter or to get him to do something. Besides _Yangyang_ was the one who was supposed to talk to him, and Dejun simply went on with his day most of the time. This meant he didn’t exactly spend the most time around him in his normal routine and just being around him was weird, and he didn’t know how to act.

Dejun’s heart rate never seemed to want to rest, always beating louder and faster, and on several occasions when he came back from the bathroom, his eyes snapped to the door as he felt nervous as well as excited. During the majority of the recording Dejun feels like he messes up alot when he’s in the recording both and all around feels inferior next to him. He knows his accent bleeds through worse than Ten’s could ever try too. He knows he’s worse than him.

Dejun slumps in the plastic chair outside of the recording booth with a sigh and Ten looks up from his phone to hand him his bottle of water. “You look sweaty baby, drink some water and maybe you’ll calm down a bit.”

“Thank you gege.” He sits up to take it from him and drink properly without choking.

“Don’t call me that. I’m not that old.” He smiles when Dejun hands it back after a few sips and takes a long swing. _Wow_ Dejun never knew he needed to see Ten throwing his long blonde hair back. He also didn’t know it was that _hot._

Yangyang is his resident _don’t know what to do, ask me bitch_ friend. He doesn’t know if it’s a thing or not but he’s the one he usually goes to with his problems. Hendery is just as big of a mess if not more and all Yangyang _really_ has on them both his excessive amounts of time spent on the internet. Ten hands the bottle back to him, telling him to drink a little more before the break.us over and Dejun downs the rest of the bottle before he lets himself think about the indirect kiss they’ve just shared.

“Sorry,” He half heartedly laughs at the empty plastic bottle.

“It’s fine. Kun said your throat gets dry easily.” He replies, taking the bottle from him and tossing it directly in the trash can. _What the hell, I don’t get how he can look this good._

“Yeah, but only because I tend to male a lot of mistakes so I rerecord a lot.”

“Nothing wrong with that, I remember Taeyong always wanted to rerecord like fifty times over. I usually try to give the first few shots my all, so I can save time. If I practice a lot beforehand as well then it’s easier, sometimes,” He trails off a bi ith a laugh. “Sometimes I get nervous while singing in the studio.”

“You’re so inspirational Ten.”

He fixes him with a look, classic smirk resting on his face. “Am I really?”

“Yeah, you practice all your lines a lot beforehand, I don’t. You also are really good at dancing and singing and have been since you were younger. To me you remind me of someone who follows their dreams, but only if they’re comfortable.”

“Glad I’m inspirational to you Dejun,” Ten pats his shoulder like one might a child and Dejun feels himself preening a little bit. God, he really is weak around Ten when did this even happen? “Let’s get back to work, sound good? I'll help you with your english, you sounded less confident.”

“Alright.”

During the majority of the session Dejun tries his best to focus on his work and practice his lines in the recording booth. Alas that’s all besides the point because Ten looks like a fucking menace while singing. If Dejun said this before it’s because it’s _true_ and his thick eyebrowed ass is _weak_ for flexibility. Dejun _really_ should stop watching the I fuck my flexible stepsibling pornos, they aren’t affecting his mental gealth very well. He’s sweating because his hair is long and probably really hot on him.

Ten let out a small breath that’ll most likely get edited out and Dejun continues his lead in the beginning of the song, trying to feel and sing as confidently as his partner sounds. Ten gives him a thumbs up after he hits the highnote and Dejun feels himself preen. “We’re making good progress today aren’t we? It’s a good thing you aren’t too nervous today like at our last recording.”

Dejun almost chokes on the bottle of water he’s drinking, so he finishes and answers him quickly. “I had to get used to you, I’ve never recorded with you before.”

“Baby I’m not mad, just glad you’re a little more comfortable around me.” Dejun blushes and his shorter counterpart simply smiles before heading off with the manager.

_**—— two** _

Little small instances keep on happening as Ten becomes a lot more talkative and alot more touchy with him both on and off camera. He doesn’t mind it, because the affection simply goes to his head and Ten is also overbearingly nice so what does it really matter. He gets a lot more comfortable with him to the point where Yangyang gives him weird looks but he’ll ignore them. Right now in the present day Yangyang is watching him from the doorway but it doesn’t exactly matter since Dejun is drowning in memories of how this ordeal all started.

Things kind of escalate in the bad disappointing way we mentioned before the night the riot promotional video comes out.They all stayed up to watch it together because Kun had proposed the idea and they were all down. Dejun was squeezed in between Kun and Ten as they stared at the countdown, waiting for the premiere to start. It was kind of scary to keep on staring at GinJo’s face as they waited but whatever.

Dejun was letting Ten hold his hand and squeeze and play with it as he too nervously waited for it to start. The countdown shortly hits one and Dejun’s eyes are trained to the screen, watching their carefully recorded scenes behind and with greenscreens, props and more actually being able to come to life. It all looks so amazingly well done and he feels immense pride and happiness that the thing they worked on is finally out.

But, we know, that isn’t really what _this_ story is about. Hendery is off playing video games in the empty bedroom Kun was originally going to stay in before he moved in with Dejun and Yangyang, but now instead of having all the gaming equipment in bedrooms Hendery and Yangyang kind of took over the room with their expensive ass computers. This night in particular leaves Ten without a roommate, so Dejun likes to think that’s the only reason he even thinks about extending an offer of this sort to him. “Do you wanna sleep in my bed tonight?”

“You want me too?”

Ten laughs, quietly with a hand over his mouth and it’s only then he realizes everyone has long gone and left the living room. “Sometimes your favorite gege gets touched.”

“Alright whatever you say, but only because you're my favorite gege.” Dejun answers with a slight smile.

“Very nice to hear.” He pats Dejun’s shoulder. “But go put on your sleeping clothes,” ten flicks his hand at him. “We’ve been in these all day.” Ten riffles his hoodie before giving his hand a squeeze and walking out the door. It was at this point in time Dejun was so tired he didn’t realize the very obvious trap he was walking into.

Dejun made it back to his own room, and he reached up and across his top bunk to undress and be fast so Ten wasn’t waiting all that long for him. He was invited and should actually show up like promised. Dejun quickly discarded his clothes for the loose t-shirt and loose grey sweatpants he slept in from time to time and kept stored under his pillow. Kun sits on his own bed with a book resting open in his hands. He looks over at him just before he leaves and raises his eyebrows questioning, stopping him with a question.

“Where are you going, and why are you in such a hurry, especially at this time of night?”

Dejun, suddenly shy at the forward question responds with a small duck if his head. “Ten offered for me to sleep with him in his bed.” Coming out of his mouth, it doesn’t sound all that innocent and he mentally curses himself, even though in his heart he knows—or at least thinks he knows—Ten has good intentions. Dejun awkwardly coughs. “It’s not like that, I cuddle with _Xiao_ yang all the time.”

Kun simply sighs. “Ten is eccentric, don’t let him get to you okay?”

“Ge, I’m twenty, I can consent. Besides Ten doesn’t seem like he’d do anything like that, you worry so much gege!” Dejun rolls his eyes, feeling a bit incredlous. “Whatever, goodnight sleep tight, love you and a good fucking night.” He swings the door closed, but not before Kun can shout a _‘Watch your language, but I love you too.’_

Dejun feels himself stepping into Ten and Hendery’s room like a little child might stumble into their parents after a terrifying nightmare. Ten sits upright in bed against the headrest, looking at something on his phone till he realizes that he stands there. Ten smiles and Dejun awkwardly stumbles over to him, hands hanging uselessly at his sides.

“You can come in!” Ten’s voice is light and airy—he opens up his bed spreads and Dejun notices his black sweatpants and loose thai pop t-shirt—and Dejun steps into his room. Ten pats the space next to him in bed and Dejun finishes closing the door before sitting up next to him.

“Aren’t you tired?”

“Only a bit,” He says and gives him a dark look Dejun doesn’t actually understand, but it’s gone within the moment. “This has all gone and messed up my sleeping schedule, not very happy.”

Dejun laughs. “I never had one.”

“No? You always look perfectly rested though?” Ten questions before he rests his head on Dejun’s shoulder in a way that has him blushing out of embarrassment and looking away. “Tell my your secrets!” Ten faux demands and Dejun laughs, already feeling alot better and not too tired anymore.

“I guess my eyes don’t get too red.” “I envy you!” “-and I use makeup for my consistent dark bags.”

“Ah, I’m a little lazy.” Ten pouts. “I just try to sleep long enough or beg the makeup noonas.”

“You can't ask them for everything!”

“I can try!”

It’s silent for a few seconds as Ten leans over him and puts his phone on his nightstand. Dejun yawns, sliding down in the bed underneath the covers and looks at Ten expectantly. He only raises an eyebrow before scooting down to join him, looking at him with both hands just barely gripping the edge before he leans over and presses a kiss to his cheek and scoots down. Ten wraps himself around Dejun’s body, legs over his ankles and arms around his waist with his head curled into the nape of Dejun’s neck.

“Little koala.” Dejun whispers and Ten hums in response. “You’re a little koala bear, climbing me like a tree.”

Ten snickers. “You want me to climb you like a tree?”

“Wha- no-” Dejun sputters as he watches the way Ten’s eyes darken, looking at him with closed lips in a scarily lustful but at the se time confusing and unreadable. “Are you saying that’s not the reason you came here honey?” This is exactly where Dejun likes to start his _this us all entirely Ten’s fault_ tirade.

“No? Kun told me something along the lines of that.” Dejun whimpers under his eye contact. “But I thought he was lying!”

“Of course he would.” Ten only nods. “My innocent lite Xiaojun, did no one ever tell you what the members of WayV and I do in our free time?”

“I can guess b-but oth-”

“Not Yangyang, he’s even less legal than you are, let alone would he be up to do something sexual. But Hendery, I dunno what to tell you.”

“ _Don’t._ ” Dejun has learned his lesson a little too fast. “Also fucking me at one am? I don’t care if everyone else knows-”

“Honey there’s other things we can do to have fun.”

Dejun doesn’t respond and Ten gives him a smirk to his visible gulp, kissing his neck lightly before opening up the cover and scooting down the edge of the bed, taking a look at the lower half of his body. “Your wearing _way_ too many clothes on bottom.” Ten murmures into the nape of his neck and Dejun’s head lolls back as Ten tugs his loose sweats off and his boxers before giving his already hard dick a long look. “Ooh your already excited, I love it.”

“Not my fault I didn- ah!” Ten tugs on his hard dick once, pressing a kiss to the tip that’s already leaking precome. “M-maybe Kun was onto something.”

“What _did_ you say to him exactly?” Ten laughs quietly as he lightly starts jerking him off, presumably to get some sort of rhythm, and Dejun makes a less than human sound, squirming around in his hold.

“T-that I can consent, a-and that you wouldn’t do anything like that.” He stutters as Ten takes off his own loose t-shirt and scoots down to the bottom and Dejun’s body. “Proved you wrong I suppose, not that you seem to mind though.” Ten gives his dick another squeeze before going down on him like it was a lollipop, hands braced on his sides and hipbone to keep him from jerking up into his mouth.

“Ten- fuck, ge!”

Ten pops off his dick with a lewd sound, frantically whispering as he shoots him a dirty glare. “Be _quit_ Xiao Dejun!”

“I’m sorr- fuck!” Ten slaps his thigh and Dejun grits his teeth, trying to take a deep breath before reaching over to find the closest and smallest thing he can stiff in his mouth. It’s conveniently, or conveniently, Ten’s boxers which he doesn’t know why are stuffed underneath his pillow when he’s still dressed but when Ten brings a hand to start feeling up his balls Dejun stiffs it in his mouth with no hesitation.

This goes on for a few minutes as Ten focuses almost entirely on making him feel good and Dejun simply suffers above, moaning and drooling around his boxers. He wonders how he looks, writhing and turning, moaning around Ten’s boxers while he’s simply given a blowjob. Ten pops off, presumably to catch his breath, and looks up at him through his lashes. He takes one hand off his hip bone, holding down tighter with the other while going up and down with his and a few times.

“God Dejun we should’ve done this earlier.” He shakes his head.

“No we should’ve no-ah!” Dejun tries to reply but Ten slaps his thigh again and he stuffs his boxers back in his mouth, giving Ten a pathetic look.

He smirks at the way Dejun feels himself falling back again as he massages his balls a little bit and cries around the cloth when he starts sucking with that deliciously wet and hot mouth of his much harder than before, looking up at him again. It was most probably the best blowjob Dejun ever had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of, even if Ten _was_ like three years older than him which was a little weird. He made up for the age difference for not caring and being way more experienced than Dejun. Ten works his mouth almost like a wet and hot piece of a soft sweater, holding onto his dick tightly so much that Dejun feels like he’s going to explode.

Dejun feels himself coming close to his high, trying to figure out how to tell Ten without cumming on him unexpectedly. He couldn’t talk because of what happened last time, and It was almost one am as of now. He didn’t want to get caught by waking up anyone with his voice _especially kun_ , he also didn’t want to get caught period—even Ten _had_ promised him he’d take the blame. His hips were still being held down Ten’s hands on his hip bone but he did have the rest of his legs free.

This could do something, he certainly doesn’t think Ten would ever want to do this again if he came in his mouth. _Wait shit we plan on doing this again?_ Dejun wraps one of his legs around the back of Ten’s body, and he goes down too hard, sputtering and coughing. He lifts himself up with a frown, sort of looming over him. “Dejun what the fuck.”

“I was gonna cum if you didn’t stop.” He whimpers pathetically as he looks up at him, feeling little tears brimming from how close he was. He really didn’t want to stop but he didn’t want to be selfish.

Ten pushes some of his blonde hair out of his face. “Baby that’s the point of a blowjob.”

“B-but you should feel good too, that’s mean of me, I shouldn’t be selfish w-when _your_ the one doing this for me.”

Ten smirks, pulling himself off Dejun and sitting up next to him in bed. He looks Dejun’s blissed out and sweaty body up and down as if he’s deciding something, before leaning down to kiss him on the cheek. “Not today baby, let me take care of you so I can get off later.”

“If you say so- ah what the fu-” Ten pinches his nipple through his shirt, giving Dejun no mercy while he slides down and resumes — this time sucking him off while he jerks off himself underneath the covers.

Dejun’s head just barely hits the bed rest as he continues, licking a stripe up his dick that’s now leaking with precome. He sucks at the tip and Dejun grabs his boxers again, stuffing them inside his mouth to muffle his sounds. He knows Ten is jerking himself off because he moans around his dick and the vibrations go straight to his dick, a bout of precome coming out. Damn, Ten makes him a goner insanely fast—Dejun thinks it’s illegal somewhere. If so, he’d kind if like to see Ten in handcuffs.

“Dejun honey, cum for me, cum for Ten-ge.” Dejun.let’s himself so, crues muffled into the cloth of Ten’s underwear before his vision blurs and black spots show up before the world goes black, and not in a good way.

_**—— three** _

Dejun wakes up to a slap on his cheek, light but just enough to sting. When he opens his eyes, Ten’s pretty black eyes and long blonde hair and right in his face. “Good, you finally woke up.” He calmly says.

“The last thing I remember is cumming, I’m sorry.” He replies back, still feeling on the cusp of sleep and holding onto the faint warmness of Ten and his sheets.

“That you did,” Ten nods. “All over my face and sheets. Was not too excited to find you passed out. But it’s a good thing you're awake, I’ve just barely managed to get Kun out of the room saying you were sleeping, and Hendery didn’t ask questions. I cleaned you up after your climax with a towel wet with warm water and changed my sheets.”

“I’m still tired though.” He sleepily looks around and clings onto Ten’s shirt. He simply laughs, encouraging his antics. “Okay cutie, your pants should be fine, so long as you just say you were tired no one will ask questions. Sounds good baby?”

“Sounds good.” Dejun sleepily agrees, raising himself from the warm mess of blankets and sheets that is Ten’s bed. “So, I’m guessing you don’t wanna talk about this at all?”

Ten is silent, and when Dejun looks over at him from where he stands, he looks at his lap as if shameful, “Kun is waiting on you.” _and so he digresses._

Outside of his room, Kun stops him in the hallway with an impatient look and Dejun’s sleep brain decides being disrespectful is the single best and the only option Dejun has to start this conversation. “What.”

“ _Yes, **Kun-ge.**_ ” He seethes and Dejun only yawns, rubbing at his eyes with the sweater he snatched from Ten that Ten.snatched from Hendery.

“Listen, I’m tired, you just made me get up from a very warm bed and a very good cuddle buddy who let me sleep in, _what._ ”

Kun looks flabbergasted that Ten’s words mirrored his own. “You mean- Ten didn’t-”

“No, why would he want to do anything sexual? He just cuddled me and we fell asleep, honestly, I know what kinds of situations I get myself into.” Dejun sighs in response.

Kun simply nods embarrassed, murmuring an apology before walking past him down the hallway. Once he’s gone, a small tired smile breaks out on Dejun’s face and he makes his way back to his room. Yangyang lays on his bed with Hendery who sits next to him. Dejun yawns out a greeting, slowly climbing up his bed to maybe sleep a bit longer.

“When I came in you looked pleasantly passed out.” Hendery comments and Dejun chooses to ignore the deeper meaning. “Also, is that my sweater?”

“I was! My sleep schedule was changed so I was very tired. I still am, I didn’t get my usual amount. And so what if it is? I like it, it's soft, maybe you won’t get it back.” Dejun plays it off with a tired huff and Yangyang innocently backs him up. “You know how he is, mister Xiao I need ten hours a day or I steal your kneecaps Dejun.”

“See? Yangyang understands.”

“Whatever you say didi.” Hendery comments calmly and Dejun gets a little pissed off. “Also that’s not nice. I like that one.”

“What you think we fucked or some shit? Not you too, Kun said the same thing!” He looks down below and Hendery’s cheeks are flushed. Yangyang only chortles out a laugh. “Xiaojun fucking Ten? In what world? Also, 11/10 think you can do without the sweater.”

_**—— four** _

Wait, pause the tape and take a moment to think for a second about everything that has happened for our silver-haired friend so far. He might quite possibly have a small crush on his group member, said group member apparently gets down and shit with some of his other members, said group member _also_ sucked his dick last night at ass o clock. Okay, cool, wow this is a lot of information to now process. Past Dejun even thought that this encounter would be the end of things in Dejun and Ten town. Which is understandable, even if he had said he would think about it, it’d be likely that Ten would want to forget about it and just move along with all the other members. _Boy_ was he wrong.

Okay back to the past, our current future because going to present day will have a lot of questions to unfold. Besides, Dejun’s actually just on his way to the kitchen for dinner, drowning in every single problem he’s ever committed with Ten. Kun hands him a plate, and as he sits down—it’s back to his thoughts.

Dejun hadn’t exactly warranted the occurrence happening again, because he just isn’t the kind of person to want to do things like that. He doesn’t exactly have a sex drive, isn’t looking for a partner, isn’t looking for anything like friends with benefits—and really just wants to focus on his career. He has worked extremely hard to get here, and just one scandal could have him out of here forever. Today most of the members are out of the dorms with the expectation of Kun holed up in his studio and Dejun alone in his shared room. He hears the front door open before he hears footsteps before the door to his room swings open—and in walks the object of his thoughts.

“Where’s our favorite Kun, hmm?” He asks, peeking inside with a smug smirk that never seems to leave his face when they're alone.

“Recording studio, w-why?” Dejun still feels the first flutters of nervousness and unsure feelings from where he sits on Yangyang’s bottom bunk, reading about upcoming news back home in China.

“You don’t look all that busy, wanna do something together?” Dejun blushes. “Does it- what do you want to do?”

Ten smirks and sits on the edge of the bed, a challenging look portrayed fiercely in his eyes. “I dunno, wanna record some moaning for Kun’s track?”

Dejun flushes. “I think you know the answer to that.”

“Yes? You know it’s a joke right? I thought about what happened and, you’re pretty cute XiaoDejun, if you don’t mind then today maybe we can do something different.”

“No.” Dejun states.

Ten pouts and Dejun feels his resolve breaking, but not that there was much to begin with.

“My sex drive isn’t- no, gege we can do something _normal._ ” Dejun sighs. He really wasn’t one to get persistently aroused and was perfectly content with no doing anything sexual. He wasn’t _asexual_ but definitely somewhere up the line to the point that mastrubating once a week or less was pretty okay. He also literally had two roommates—one of which was the leader why the fuc-

“Sex is _very normal_. Besides, you weren’t turned on _last time_ till I started talking. I didn’t even get a chance to kiss you.”

Okay, maybe this is a bit tempting. But it still feels like _weird._ He’s heard of friends with benefits, but if the attraction was only on one side? But ten was kind of pretty, like long blonde hair and a naturally skinny body _was_ appealing—but why would Dejun even want to do this on a consistent basis. Like he has almost no reason to do something like this but- oh.

Dejun’s mind blanks as Ten presses a long-closed mouth kiss to his lips before keeping himself close, peering down at him with an unchaste look. “I mean, if you don’t want to I won't press anymore but I can guarantee it’ll at least be worthwhile?”

“You can’t just say that.” Dejun whispers.

“But I can.”

Ten runs a hand through Dejun’s silver fringe and tugs a bit as his eyes flutter closed and he frowns, trying to turn away from him. Ten drags one of his fingers down the side of his face, lightly and soft before he takes a hold of his chin and looks him in the eye. “Give me a verbal answer baby, I’ve already asked too much.”

“God fuck, you’re so mean,” He whines.

“You think?” Ten runs his hands through Dejun’s hair. “Gonna take that as a yes by the way.”

“You come in here, demand I commit _sexual acts_ with you and then kiss me on the lips before asking if this is okay. Fucking shutup if you want it already.” Dejun groans, pushing Ten off him and onto the bed before attacking his lips. Ten laughs as Dejun snides an _Asshole._

“Okay if we’re doing this I’m gonna need to be on top.” Ten looks up at him.

“What if I wanna be on top, you did say _something different,_ give me a chance gege.”

“Fine,” Ten looks up at him and pulls his lip into his mouth with his teeth. That’s the thing that really riles Dejun up. “also _please_ don’t say that.” He whines. “You say it when you aren’t thinking and I shouldn’t be finding it as hot as I am.”

Dejun smiles a bit on top of him. “Watch me gege, you’re the only one who lets me misbehave anyways.”

He harshly kisses Ten on the mouth, practically sticking his tongue down his throat as he feels Ten holding onto the arms he has by the sides of his head. Dejun lowers himself slowly over Ten while keeping himself pressed up against his body, groaning into his mouth when he feels how he’s already getting hard and turned on. Ten only moans at the pressure on his dick, rutting up slightly while Dejun only moves to start sucking bruises into his neck.

“No Marks,” Ten says breathlessly. “Maybe- m-maybe you can suck on my nips.”

Dejun pushes himself up again, stealing another kiss as he grinds hard on Ten’s lower body with a slight smirk. He pushes up his shirt silently as Ten squirms, still completely into the dominant role Ten has placed him in. When he takes a look, Ten’s nipples are already hard and coloured a pretty pink—just like his lips when they aren’t bitten and bruised. Dejun twists one unexpectedly, and Ten squirms as a moan falls out of his mouth and he presses his lips closed shut.

“God they’re so hard and pretty, gege.” His resolve seems to fall just as soon as Dejun gets his hands on Ten’s chest, and he stores it away as important information for some other time. “You think you can cum like this gege?”

“Yeah, fuck, baby you are never allowed to top me ever again.”

Dejun harshly twists them, watching them slightly bruise and the way his skin flushes red. “Take it back, face it no one’s gonna do this for you ge.” Ten beautifully arches on the bed as he lets out the most lewd moan. Dejun is pretty sure he’s the only thing he needs to keep living, and would ditch his career for this beautiful person. He takes his reactions as a good thing, pulling down Ten’s sweats and boxers as Ten only helplessly looks at him, already far gone into saying anything.

It isn’t quiet, but Ten knows how to pace himself and Dejun wants to drag this out for as long as he can, because Ten is truly one of a kind. before twisting his nipples again and watching him squirm and moan protests. His dick is already pretty hard, standing up straight and flushing against his stomach. Dejun thumbs over it a bit, before looking him in the eyes. “Time to stretch you out.”

“You really are serious huh?” Dejun kisses him to shut him up. “I am all your fault.”

“Fine with me.”

Dejun has lube underneath his pillow, so he reaches up between the bars of the top bunk bed to get it. Ten scoots around, turning his ass towards Dejun, who gulps before squirting a little all over his hole. “Dejun- fuck- you assshole _why_?” Dejun doesn't answer, and instead he inserts two fingers experimentally in his ass, swirling all the lube around. Ten groans, arching once again and pushing back on his fingers and that sight honestly makes Dejun hard.

“Dejun hurry it up, it's not nice to tease.”

“I’ve never done this before.” He moans, trying a third and scissoring them as much as he can.

“What are you a virgin?”

“It doesn’t take this long for girl, asshole!” Dejun slaps Teens ass, and he gives a long exaggerated moan. “Oh Go-fuck you.”

“When you get me stretched out you can baby.” Ten gives him a wink and Dejun pushes his head with his other hand before taking his hand out and watching him clutch around nothing. He can deal with a bit of a burn if he’s gonna be that way, besides, Dejun isn’t even that big.

“Ready?”

“Yeah,” Dejun grunts and kicks his pants and boxers pulling on a condom. He looks down at him once more before off before getting a grip on Ten’s hips. “Yeah, fuck, here goes nothing.”

If Ten’s mouth is the hottest thing he’s felt in a while around his dick then his ass is even better, even if he has to do all the work. It’s tight, hot, and he can even hear the lewd squelches of the lube as he pulls back and slams back into him. Ten moans when he first pushes in, whispering out praises to him as he goes. He’s _really_ never done anything like this before. “Gege, is it good for you?”

“Fuck yeah baby your perfect.” Ten’s head has ceased to exist, buried around somewhere in the sheets of the bed. hisHu's voice sounds wrecked and blissed out, and so Dejun keeps going with all his sexual adrenaline building up as his climax comes close. “Ten- fuck- gege I’m sorry-”

“I’m only gonna deny that if you black out on me, now cum I already have.” Ten snickers before his laughing turns into moans.

“I’m– s–so sorry– gege i’m close–sorry–” And Dejun cums, releases shooting into the condom as he slumps against Ten. He sits there for a second, and fels Ten chuckle a bit at his drastic demeanor change. Dejun pulls out when Ten taps his thigh, and moves himself back to take off the condom. The room is eerily quiet, and despite how exposed Dejun suddenly feels to be naxed onfront of his gege, he also feels strangely calm.

Dejun’s clothes aren’t far away, so he shoves his shirt over his head and simmys into his pants while Ten sits up and looks at something quietly. It’s only then that it hits him that they just fucked on his best friend’s bed.

“Gege, did you– did we,” His words are panicked and hurried, the post-orgasm haze leaving him as Dejun suddenly realizes what they’ve done. He’s just _had sex_ on his best friend snd roomates bed. As well as the fact that Ten most likely came on himself. Ten sits up and swings his feet over the edge, leaning over to find his clothes and he tosses him another used condom. “Sometimes I think a little more than you do.”

He reaches over to toss it in the trash can near the edge of Yangyang’s bed before he puts his own clothes on and tiredly pats his lap. “Come here, we’ll think about that later. Now where is Yangyamg’s laptop, we can watch a movie while we wait for others to get back alright?”

Dejun nods. “Alright, alright we can do that I’m sorry I–”

“Baby,” Ten holds his chin up and Dejun feels embarrassed once again. Damn, this feeling never seemed to fade did it? “Honey, it’s okay.”

“Okay.”

Dejun really isn’t in the right headspace for anything, so he fights the burning, overwhelming feeling in the back of his throat and climbs into Ten’s smaller lap, letting him hold him and run his fingers through his silver blonde hair. This is the moments Dejun’s heart swells the most for, the moments he wants to indulge in for long periods of time. Ten of course wants to watch another studio ghibli movie, so Dejun lets himself just sit while he does everything else. It’s almost like some kind of sub drop, except Dejun was topping him so he isn’t sure, but all he really wants to do is stay in Ten’s warm arms.

He’s feeling especially clingy today, and even though it’s his second time Dejun wonders if this will end up being a regular occurrence. He wanders a lot of things about his relationship with Ten. will he ever get to do things like an actual relationship, or will he just be stuck in a cycle of fleeting affection and signs he’s too young to understand. If that can even be said about him, at his peak of twenty one. Tight now Dejun is severely tired, and he’s not sure if it’s from the stress of practice or sex, but he falls asleep in Ten’s arms and only wakes up several hours later the next day.

_**—— five** _

“Ha- ah- ah” Dejun can only pathetically moan as Ten fucks him up against the wall of their bathroom. They are on break, having recorded the promotional video for the riot earlier this morning, and Kun had taken the other members out to do something. Not that Dejun particularly cares when Ten is behind him, bruising grip tight on his hips as he slams into him and hits his prostate expertly each time. Dejun is a helpless moaning mess in his arms when it comes to anything and everything related sex with him, so he only let’s the sounds pour out of his mouth. Ten had already taken advantage of the time they had alone together, getting him to cum once already after a blowjob while he stretched hIm out. Ten, had not cum, and Dejun could feel it in the way his hips seemed to have no rest against his ass as he fucked him. “Oh- f-fuck Ten- hah _gege_ ”

“You’re doing so good baby.” Ten’s voice is breathless and his body pressed up a little more against the back of him. “So good, honey.”

“Ah, you c-close?”

“Yes, _fuck._ ” Ten slams in hard and Dejun lets out a loud moan.

“I wanna- with you.” Dejun lets his hand fall to his neglected dick that stands up tall in front of him and harshly tries his best to jerk himself off in time with Ten’s erratic and unrhythmic thrusts. Ten presses kisses to his nape as he lets his head fall back on his shoulder and jerks himself off. Ten stops talking, pushing Dejun back against the wall as he fucks him hard enough for ache, it’s enough to feriocusly push Dejun over the moon, cumming as he hears that Ten pushed back falls on his shoulder again. Pleasure courses loudly through his bones and he feels Ten cum in his condom, slumping up against him in an equally post-high contentedness.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty like this.” Ten whispers out between heavy breaths, sitting in him for a few moments before pulling out with a sigh. He tosses the condom in the trash, and takes a seat on the edge of the bathtub. Dejun turns around and slumps against the wall, holding himself up on the sink while he takes a moment to catch his breath. They’re both still mostly blissed out and tired, feeling the exhaustion of work and then this seeping into they’re bones.

Dejun breathes out air heavily before he looks over at Ten. “I’m tired.”

“C’mere,” He slides into the tub, turning on the water and sinking inside. “We’re disgusting. ‘specially you. Fuckin cum all over yourself. Gotta get washed, then we can cuddle or something.”

Dejun chuckles, slowly walking over to him and letting himself into the slowly filling bathwater. He does feel a bit disgusted with the cum on his lower body he could have just wiped it off with a paper towel. Not like anyone is home to ask why he’s walking around naked, or has cum on himself. Dejun catches the loofa Ten throws at him when he sits down, wiping it off himself. They have a nice bathtub in the korean dorms, company provided, that fits two people, especially helpful for right about now. “Concerned about the _or something_ part.”

“Fuck off.” Ten says, leaning his head back against the tile. “I’m so mothefucking _tired_ you don’t even fucking know.”

“Is that why you're cursing like a sailor?” Dejun gives hima lazy look as he lets his head fall back against the tile for a few moments.

“I always do during a good fuck.”

“We finished though?” Dejun only smiles at the tired way he turns his head around to try to glare, but his eyes soften for a second and he stares at Dejun like he’s made of gold. “Maybe, I’m just really comfortable around you.” He softly responds.

“First I’m uncomfortable around you, next _your_ uncomfortable around _me?_ ”

“I’m not.” Ten moans. “Leave me be okay? Just fucked your juicy ass, let me have a rest.”

“Please never say that again.” Dejun curls in on himself as the water rises above the middle and he tries to get underneath, the air in the bathroom being cold as the adrenline, swear, an feelings from sex wears off. Ten turns around so Dejun can see his ass—not that he minds—and turn the tap off before getting the shampoo he uses. “Also can you get mine?”

Ten turns back behind him and nods, reaching up and getting it before sliding back inside into a criss cross in the bathtub. He squirts some into his palm before running it through his hair roughly. “I’m thinking about dying my hair.”

“Really? I like the blonde it looks fine.” It’s not like he’s lying, the blonde has suited him well throughout all of promotion, and if anything it might be one of Dejun’s favorite hair colors on him besides black. But then again, he didn’t live through silver haired Ten, that really sounds like something pretty. “What color then, if you will change it.”

“Pink?”

“Pink,” Dejun sighs. “I think it’d look good.” _I think everything would look good on you._

Woah, where did that thought come from? This is where future Dejun—yes he’s back to pop in and tell you about how stupid Dejun really is. Dejun would have never known that looking back this would be the moment he’d internally regret forever. Maybe if he could've started dropping hints of how he felt, things wouldn’t get nearly as complicated as they are. Future Dejun is doing terribly, thank you for checking in. Maybe if Dejun was able to be a bit more confident things down the line wouldn’t have turned to such shit. But maybe and wonders don’t change pasts already been decided.

“I dunno, just thinking about something bright and different, it’d be nice to have a change.”

_**—— six** _

Dejun likes to believe that things when Ten are like a silent cat and mouse game till he either snaps and lets him do whatever he wants or he snaps and makes him do what he wants. Ten is like a snake, slithering up into Dejun’s body to make him uncomfortable till he twists his body, only then realizing he’s no longer a snake but a beautiful goddess. It doesn’t work very well out for Dejun but always works perfectly for the latter. But it doesn’t matter, Dejun walked into his trap blindfolded. But when he arrived and took it off, he didn’t mind not leaving.

Ten seems to take the few times they’ve already done it as an invitation to try and pull him to his room each night, even though Dejun feels really bad for Hendery and tries to resist him. Besides if he blames it completely and entirely on Ten it kind of makes him feel better since he’s the only problematic person. Really Dejun isn’t spending that much time with him, but like once a week. It’s not bad, but it does turn into happenings like this.

“Xiao Dejun.”

“Go away.”

“Xiao _De_ jun.” He sings.

“Go _away_ gege.” He’s losing the fight.

Ten peers up between the wooden bars of Dejun’s bunk bed where he is currently trying to take a midday nap. Yangyang is playing games and Kun is watching them both from his own bed. “Ten leave him alone.”

“No, It’s fine I’m not doing too much. Just trying to sleep.” Dejun gets up into a sitting position shooting Ten a look who only raises a brow before sauntering out the door.

He pulls the blankets off and throws his feet over the bar of the bunk bed, climbing down slowly as if to postpone something. He’s not nervous or anything, just tired and most of him doesn’t want to do anything. Kun gives him a look as he turns to leave the room but Dejun only waves him off, already used to whatever he’ll say. He knows that Kun is right, that it’s not good to have this certain type of relationship—or any no platonic relationship—but whatever, if anyone exposed it, they’d be in the group.

Dejun peeks into Ten and Hendery’s room which is right next to his, and Hendery only gives him the finger so he sticks his tongue out and looks around. Sicheng and Yukhei’s room is locked, and Ten wouldn’t be in the gaming room or Kun’s studio so he ventures to the kitchen. It’s pretty empty except for some cups that Dejun only picks up and carefully places in the sink. He feels a tap on his shoulder, jumping and turning around.

Quickly to Dejun’s surprise and embarrassment, Ten lifts him up onto the counter that’s wet with dirty water and taps another finger of his own to his pink and glossy lips. He has the same lustful look in his eyes Dejun has gotten so used to being the centre of attention from and criticizes his state like a predator about to pronounce on prey—in a way, Dejun is going to let him destroy him one way or another. Dejun nods, as his arms immediately wrap around his neck and Ten takes control, french kissing him while he holds him up on the counter. Ten tastes like vanilla chapstick and smells like his linen perfume and his cherry shampoo. Dejun’s hands go from holding his neck to running through his hair as he lets his fingers get tangled in his long hair, eyes fluttering shut as he explores his mouth.

This is exactly what Dejun meant when he said he’ll stay in Ten’s trap. He knows exactly what kind of dilemma he’s in, but it’s moments like this when Ten has him completely undone for him that Dejun finds it hard to pull away. He’s enticing, with unorthodox views and antics to get Dejun exactly where he wants him. He doesn’t care about what the other members could think about him, he just cares about making him feel good and getting exactly what he wants out of it.

“God you kiss me so well.” Ten moans against his lips, sloppy and hot as he dives back in for another round of kissing as if Dejun is some sort of desert he can’t get enough of. Dejun only hums, tugging a bit more on his hair as Ten tries to tilt his head in his grip and get just a little closer to him. It’s hot, sloppy, and messy but the only thing on Dejun’s mind is just getting a little closer now that he’s surrendered to his desire.

The sound of a plastic cup falling interrupts Ten and Dejun’s heated makeout session. “Oh my god my eyes!” Dejun hears someone who sounds a lot like Yangyang screech. “Please _Do not_ fuck on the kitchen counters.”

Ten pulls away and Dejun lets his hands drop from his hair. A line of spit connects them still and Ten’s wide eyes lock with him as he quickly swipes it down and Dejun hoists himself down. Yangyang fakes puking in the trash can, giving them both a look before running out the kitchen. But before they can even begin to think about continuing, “TEN CHITTAPHON LEECHAIYAPORNKUL GET IN HERE RIGHT FUCKING NOW.”

Dejun gives him a scared look as he slowly walks out of the kitchen. “Please don’t let Kun kill you. I like kissing you?”

“I’ll resurrect myself?” Ten shoots him finger guns before he walks down the hallway like a mock walk of shame.

That is not how Dejun expected talking Yangyang would go. Or Kun. Or _anyone,_ as Sicheng only gives him a confused look when he walks out of the kitchen—following his partners shame walk. But to be fair Dejun didn’t plan on telling anyone, so he didn’t have a plan for anything. When he steps into his room, for the first time feeling like a stranger, and surveys the room. Yangyang sits on his bed, one leg pulled into a cross legged position with the other dangling to the floor. Kun sits with both of his feet down on the edges of his bed in a very DILF manspread minus the fact that Dejun wants nowhere near his dick. Ten sits with both his knees up to his chest, bit unfolds them like a pretty blonde butterfly when Dejun enters the room. Kun gives him a _very_ stern look, and he pouts, flapping his feet once before patting a spot beside himself.

“No!” Kun raises his voice. “You’re not sitting by him, here _now._ ”

Dejun puts his hands up, scurrying to the spot besidE him on the bed as Kun pinches his nose before letting out a deep breath. “I don’t even know where to _begin_ with you dipshits.” Yangyang raises his head to object. “Not you Yangyang, for _once._ ”

“Who started it first?” Kun asks, breath coming out of his mouth as he looks all around the room. Someone might say he sounded nervous or scared at the answer but Then seems to get a certain look in his eyes, looking over Kun like he’s bigger than him at the way his voice and words sound. Yangyang shoots Dejun a look, but before he can even begin to think about it, he forces himself to answer.

“Him.”

“Him.”

Dejun can feel himself starting to get agitated. “Me? You told me how you do this with other members!”

“You do!?” Yangyang interjects, screeching.

“He told me so! He might’ve done it with Hendery!” Dejun points his fingers at him, as he leans

Ten sputters, holding out his arm defensively in an attempt to appear clm. “I- No I do not!”

“No- Yangyang- for god's sake the only other person he’s ever done this with is-”

“Is who?” Ten interjects and Kun falls silent. He fixes Kun with a fierce look. “Whatever, so I proposed it to him. What about it? Not like anyone knows.” Dejun tries to ground himself to respond and agree with him, forcing his next words out despite the way it makes his gut twist strangely. “Not like we’re dating, this is exactly why we didn’t wanna tell anyone.”

“Yeah,” Ten picks up looking over at him for a second, eyes away from Kun for once. “No harm, we’re just jerking off. No one else has to know.”

“Yeah, I’m just gonna forget any of this happened.” Yangyang shoves his arms over his eyes. “Whatever can I leave now he?”

Kun looks exhausted and defeated. “Yeah, whatever, you can leave all of you. I don’t really care.”

_**—— seven** _

Ten shoots Dejun a look he’s gotten pretty accustomed to seeing whenever Ten is in his mood, which considering what happened only a few days ago he can’t believe he’s getting now. Kun seems to pick up on it though as well, but he only sighs, pausing the movie they're all watching. It really only is a documentary about music production Kun found and wanted to watch, but then Ten was bored and leeched himself onto him fifteen minutes after it started. The show was actually pretty interesting, but Dejun has come to accept that ninety percent of the time what Ten wants—Ten gets.

Dejun gets up from the couch after Kun waves him off with a disgusted look, and Dejun walks back to his room, taking a seat on Kun’s bed. Ten comes in after, sitting next to him silently but certainly not unseen by him. “Are you up?” He asks, straddling his hips and making Dejun gasp at his forwardness. “You think I can refuse when you're like this?”

Ten laughs, head falling against his chest before he looks back up at him again. “Yes or No baby.”

Dejun lets out a breathy sound. “Shit yes, fuck yeah continue.”

“You want me on Kun’s bed?” Ten teases.

“No, shit, no let's get up on my bed- I-i have lube under my pillow like last time.” Dejun gets himself up, racing to the other side of the room to clamber up his bunk bed’s railing. Damn, curse the fact he has a bunk bed when all he’s thinking of is getting Ten’s hard dick in his ass. He climbs up after him, watching at the end as he pulls off his clothes, throwing them down onto Yangyang’s bed below him before laying down for him and handing him the lube.

Ten drags a hand down his torso. “Pretty boy.”

“ _Ten,_ ” He hums in response, taking the bottle and hoisting Dejun up so his lower half is higher to take a look. “Flip for me honey, but before that, get some condoms.” Dejun gives him a look as if to say why did you say that earlier, but where his bed touches the wall there is a small brown wall cabinet for books. Dejun pulls out two condom packages and from where Ten is on his knees at the start of Dejun's bed, it’s pretty much empty.

Dejun shyly turns around and Ten smiles, a little too proud, before pouring cold lube all over his ass. “Hah- cold.”

“It’s your lube dipshit.”

Dejun shoves his face into the pillow, and Ten takes his time, starting him off with one finger before adding another. He’s come to notice that Ten really likes it wet, messy, and dripping, so he prepares himself for the wet mess that drips down on his balls. His dick is only starting to ache, and Ten seems to notice this ass he adds another finger and works him open faster.

“God, please shove something in your mouth you’re to fucking loud.”

“You’re the one who makes me like this.”

“I’m the one whos gonna fuck your ass cry baby.”

Ten himself isn’t _really_ that big but he wants to make his baby feel good, so he starts on scissoring open his ass as he peppers kisses to his back. Dejun arches himself, and Ten can feel the vibrations of the moans he muffles into his sheets with the way his face is pressed to his back. Next to him is an already opened condom, so he shoves it on as he continues to finger him open. He gets a third finger in just for good measure before Dejun is pushing himself up against him.

 _“Gege,”_ He whines, head lolling back as Ten fucks into him with his fingers. “Let me ride you, I can’t take it.”

Ten fixes him with a look, pressing a kiss to his open mouth. “Only cause you asked so nicely, just don’t pass out on my dick.”

He pulls his fingers out as Dejun squirms, looking away from him in embarrassment. Ten slides back on his sheets, feeling them move a bit uncomfortable. But before he can say anything Dejun has his ass in his face. Ten pulls his lower lip into his mouth as Dejun slowly pushes himself onto him, forcing himself to watch him. His nightshirt is still on, and it pools around his sides because it’s so big. It only makes Dejun look even more beautiful, flushed pale skin and his slim body in a too big shirt.

Ten has never been one to really care about appearance, but as he guides Dejun to turn around so he can see him everything the fans have been saying from day one starts to make sense. His face looks so damn beautiful as he bounces as fast as he can on his dick. He’s honestly more of a menace than Ten ever expected, moving on him for his own pleasure and making the most beautiful and sinful of faces as he tries to stay quiet. He uses him like Ten is just his dildo, not knowing how good that older male feels either.

“Baby at that rate you’ll cum too fast.”

“I dont– care.”

Ten half chuckles, half moans, as he lets his head drop onto the sheets. “Well you’ll nake _me_ cum too fast.”

“Not– my problem.” Sweat beads at the top of his face, and each time he hits his own prostate his face flushes up again. Ten can barely watch anymore, losing himself in the pleasure and letting him do what he wants. It’s only when Dejun pauses to slowly grind down—and _hard_ at that, that Ten feels his high approaching.

“My _god_ you're a little devil with a pretty face.”

“Not– my problem– either.” Dejun grunts, rocking his hips faster as he leaves Then practically dying underneath him. Usually riding someoneos the act of a bottom, but Dejun sure knows how to reduce him to dust on bottom. Ten has to muffle himself with an arm up to his face, feeling himself get closer to his breaking point before he cums in the condom. Dejun only giggles, and keeps on rocking his hips as Ten feels himself combust from overstimulation, oh how he hates Xiao Dejun.

_**—— eight** _

Things don’t get much better after that, even if Ten would like to digress. Dejun still felt a little weird about how quick Ten was to object to talking about how he claimed he had been with other members. It rubbed him in all the wrong ways that he didn't want to talk about it with him, nor with anyone who was present. Part of him wondered if he was lying, and simply needed a way to trust him.

Dejun didn’t want to think about the possibility of him lying to him just to get him in bed, but it would make sense. The comeback was drawing close, and Dejun knew he needed to get it out of his system before this _relationship_ —if he could even call it that—got the better of his career. In fact, as much as Ten was amusing and in the mood to have sex, or Dejun was brave enough to approach him, not much happened with them. Yangyang still hangs out with him, despite the looks he’d shoot Dejun when running off with him.

It really irked him off when he thought of confronting Ten of all these things but he often asked himself if he even had a right too. What _was_ their relationship? It was built purely on desire and deception, to get a quick release for the both of them while not really having any _relationship_ elements. Ten never asked anything more of him than saying he would think about it, and that only turned into a few hookups here and there. Dejun knows he doesn’t have any reason to question what Ten is doing, so it only makes kissing him hurt.

Dejun figures he needs some time that isn't three in the morning when he’s teetering on the brink of sleep drunkenness to ponder his problems. He decides to take some time off and walk around Seoul, maybe visiting the Han river. He’d been there with Yangyang, Chenle and Renjun a few months ago when the weather was nice. Not a lot of people had come and bothered them, only one girl who was out with her boyfriend and simply said hello, telling Renjun about how inspirational he was. So Dejun knew for sure not many would be around. Yeah, he would do that, he’d like a calm atmosphere like that to help him collect his thoughts and thinking about his problems with less people around and a clear mind.

As Dejun stepped out of his cab he shivered, pulling his slicker jacket tighter around himself and walking on the street to look around and find the boardwalk again. Behind him, Ten gets out of the cab, rubbing his hands on his arms and looking up at Dejun, black bucket gate crooked and sideways. He doesn't know exactly when the very thing he was trying to avoid managed to wrangle himself into coming, but Dejun only rolls his eyes. “C’mon let's go, it’s not far from here and I remember the way we took pretty well.”

“Is it cold there?”

“Extremely.” Ten looks up at him, and for the nth time Dejun breaks, smiling down at him. “I’m joking, they have those stand up heaters that keep bugs away and warm the outside. But C’mon, it’s already six pm, Kun-gege will get mad if we're out too long.”

Ten scoffs. “I’m less than a month younger than him, and you're only a year or so younger than here, we’ll be fine.”

“Three years,” Dejun mutters, looking around for sasaengs before deeming it all safe and walking towards the path.

“I was close.” Ten shrugs, walking after him and Dejun feels the same pain, the fact that he doesn’t care enough about him to remember his age kind of hurts. He remembers his birthday, February twenty-seventh, nineteen ninety five.

The sharp cold cut of the wind against his cheeks seems to calm Dejun down more than anything else, and he takes off down the wooden boardwalk path with Ten in tow. A few people gather in a few places looking all around the place and a young girl and boy are busking a few meters away. The end of the boardwalk is lit up with little fairy lights Dejun never seen before and he smiles slightly as they walk down the boardwalk. Ten reaches down to intertwine their fingers, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand.

“Aren't you cold?”

“It’s okay, came for you after all.” Ten seems content, so Dejun shakes off his backpack as soon as he finds an empty bench and drops his hand as well. He sets his backpack on the ground and faces the river, allowing himself for a few moments to have a wild running mind. Ten plops himself down next to him, and though he’s not doing anything, Dejun thrusts his hand into his lap and he takes it. Dejun closes his eyes and tries to focus on the sound of the river opposed to anything but his mind isn’t at rest.

He wants to know why Ten was so quick to defend himself and why Kun was so suspicious. He wants Ten too define their relationship, he wants to do things other than fucking. Dejun wants to do things he’s never done with someone, and he wants to do them with Ten. The more he lets himself think about it the more scared of his ideas he gets, and it makes him not want to trust him.

“The stars are beautiful tonight.”

Dejun looks around the pier before he studys the sky, a black and listless dark with only several hundred street lamps to light up the sky. No sparkling stars in sight. He only hums in response, deciding on not pointing out the obvious light pollution he indulges Ten along, glancing over at him. His hands are still holding each other tightly, but Ten keeps his hands open and lazily hanging at his side.

“But you know who’s more beautiful?”

Dejun anticipates where this is going. “Who?”

“Who?” Ten gives Dejun a look as if to say he should already know, which is to say he hasn’t seen this all over tumblr and in every movie ever. He smiles and nudges his side as he continues talking to him and Dejun watches him back. “ _Who?_ Only WayV’s main vocalist, outstanding in his strength and beauty, Xiao Dejun.”

“Stop it,” Dejun says bashfully, looking away.

“Dejun,” Ten pulls away, looking at him with concerned eyes and it makes Dejun want to cry tears of frustration. He looks away from him, pushing away that hand he has caressing his face. “If you're not in the mood we can just stay here.”

Dejun nods, but instead of talking he just lets out a little broken sound, walking away from him. He feels Ten’ eyes on him likewise, so he turns around a bit to look at him. He sighs, letting his hands drop before looking back up at him again. Dejun can feel tears brimming slightly at his eyes, and he wants to let out all the aggression he feels but he doesn't know how.

“Let’s go home. Kun will be worried.”

The cab ride back is silent, filled to the brim with an awkward tension Dejun can’t figure out. He isn’t sure what to say, how to tell him that he wants more than what they have. Soon, in a week or so, the album will be out and promotion will only be worse. Dejun doesn’t want tp fall into a cycle of fucking and being fucked by his groupmate while he wanrs sonething more—but he dpesn’t want to bring it up fpr fear if a awkwardness induced comeback.

He knew soon rather than later Kun and Yamgyamg would find out. From their reactions, the fact that they were roommates, and the annoyingly calm way he went about things he knew they’d be both on his side which would cause a rift in the group dynamic. Hendery would choose Ten, mostly because his bond with him ran deep as roommates, and other things.

Lucas and Sicheng were tough, but honestly considering they really weren’t involved they’d stay out of it. Besides, Sicheng preferred hanging out with the korean members as much as Lucas preferred hanging out with Mark and the other SuperM members. Causing a rift is not something Dejun wants to do at all. Je loves his members and craves for the healthy bond of a good group, and while they may be annoying at times he knows he can’t just break it like that. But is he really about to put his mental health and emotional value up for grabs like that? No. As much as it’ll hurt, Dejun knows what he has to do by the time the cab drops them off at the dorms.

He follows Ten to their room, passing by Kun in the kitchen and telling him he has something to talk about with Ten. But something else burns at the back of his mind. Yangyamg passes by him with little commentary, but the feeling still persists, a need to do something. Ten is a little devil in the way he saunters into the room. He feels some kind of twisted happiness knowing his confidence will surely diminish once he opens his mouth. Immediately, he tries to push it out of his mind, but seeing him sit down on his bed and level him with a look has him doing something he’ll regret.

Dejun flourishes around the room, lightly slamming the door before he’s on top of Ten, sucking harsh bruises he knows he'll have a hard time cleaning up with makeup tomorrow. He watches happily as Ten’s head falls back onto the sheets, and Dejun continues his siege of conquering his body. It’s only then he recognizes the feeling as sexual tension, burning hot in the back of his mind. A way to let out all his frustration in the _worst_ way possible. But Ten lets him take it.

“Baby’s so stressed, come and take what you want from me.” Ten whispers, but to Dejun it’s almost taunting.

“Shut _up._ ” He growls, biting One's lips harshly before continuing to make out with him harshly. He feels him let out a little chuckle, falling limp in his hands as if he doesn’t believe Dejun can truly handle all of him. But he can and he will if this passion comes out of nowhere us telling him anything. He pulls down Ten's pants, before flipping him over and spreading his ass.

 _“Dejun,”_ Ten moans out. “Why are you so fired up?” It feels so good to be called by his name for once, and especially in that context. The tone of voice seems to have limit inducing powers, and at he fucking combusts, pushing all sane thoughts away as he reaches over for that bottle of lube, lightly smacking his ass. **_“Dejun!”_**

“Stop being so damn bratty.”

“Stop being so damn controlling then.”

“No.”

Dejun hits his ass another time before squirting cold lube all over his crack and thrusting in two fingers. Ten shoves his face into the mattress, moaning out profanity as Dejun continues to stretch him out. The last time he did this, Ten was really the one in control as he was sending out praise to keep him going and make sure he wasn’t chickening out and actually did the deal. But Now, tears of frustration burned the back of his throat as he searched around relentlessly for his prostate, leaving Ten moaning and crying below him.

It was almost a degrading position to have him under when most would consider Dejun an awkward bean. Ten moaned and pushed at him, urging him to do more. He finds his prostate soon after, taking a third finger and abusing his hole more with the added pleasure. He looked so wrecked as Dejun continued to finger him all out, and you’d never know that Dejun even had the ability to reduce him in such a way.

“Fuck– Dejun– Get in me _now._ ”

“Not for that.” Dejun gives his ass another slap, watching Ten puddle below him and feeling some kind of amazing dominant energy flow over himself. It really was so hot to have three fingers in him and watch him physically combust. “Gonna fuck you so hard you’ll see stars.”

Dejun pulls himself up a bit, spreading Ten and ignoring his moan before lining and pressing in his tip. He’s been hard for a while, but with the way Ten is he knew he had to ignore it in favor of dragging things out. Ten pushes him up, but Dejun only pulls out with a somber sound that has him crying and protesting again. It’s already long overdue, so he slams his hips into his ass — bottoming out at that — and before he can even say anything, slapping him again for no reason.

Dejun watches him cry out as he relishes in the hot feeling of his ass, all of the sensations almost maging to overwhelm him, and it makes Dejun wonder how Ten must feel through all of this. He sits there for a few moments before pulling out and slamming in again, trying to find a rhythm.

“God– fuck– Dejun your a menace.”

“I know,” He thrusts hard. _“gege.”_

It’s so intense and something he’s never really felt before, to have his older gehe under him in such a way he can pound into him and reduce him to something so small. He looks up at him with his shirt dangerously shoved in his mouth to muffle all the sounds he's making, though it isn’t much, and Dejun rips it out of his mouth. He stops moving his hips in favor of gazing Ten in the eyes before he leans in.

It’s softer than their harsher makeout session, less spit, mouth, and tongue and more of Dejun and Ten sharing _something._ He isn’t the first to pull away, and Ten only pulls back breathless before he shoves his ass back onto Dejun’s ass. He groans, of course, pulling away from him. He rolls back into him, twice the speed, adrenaline and sexual tension building up behind him

“Do you wanna tell me what that was all about?” Ten asks as he comes out of the bathroom almost half an hour later, winding his towel into his hair like a teenage girl. Considering their idols who kind of have to care about those kinds of things, Dejun doesn’t put it past him. He has other things too anyways.

“What.”

“You, destroying my ass, and being a little mean about it.” He’s dressed in his grey hoodie and slacks, and as Ten sits next to him and finishes rubbing his hair dry he looks at him with a concerned look. Dejun looks away from him.

“It’s just- you told Kun and Yangyang that what you told me was a lie.”

Ten is silent.

“It is, isn't it?”

“No.” Ten lets out a sigh, and takes one of Dejun’s hands into his own. “Your, the most consistent, but,” He shakes his head. “I made a deal with Kun that I wouldn’t _do_ anything with our members and then I went and broke it a few months back with Hendery, but then he said he thinks he’s straight so it ended. And then you came along. So really Kun isn’t _supposed_ to know.”

“Oh, I guess I’m just dumb. I’m sorry.”

“A little dumb.” Ten laughs a little. “But something else is bothering you?”

 _This is it._ “What if,” Dejun gulps, before he can muster up the courage to look Ten in the eye. He feels a tightness in his chest, like this will go horribly wrong, but he ignores it. “What if i want a relationship with you? I-i know we’re busy but?” Dejun tries, looking at him questioning.

He knows he himself is still a bit unsure, and he knows they never agreed on anything romantic. But they never didn’t _didn’t_ agree and Dejun looks over at him with a look, trying to contain everything that’s been bottled up these past few days. He knows they aren’t ideal, but he likes Ten enough that he wants to try to be with him for him. But, it seems fate hasn’t dealt the card for him otherwise, and Dejun watches his world crash down as Ten blinks, and a look of shock passes over his face before he shakes his head and drops Dejun’s hand.

“I- don’t- I-i’m sorry. I don’t know if i can do anything like that right now.” Ten looks up from his lap with his lips pressed tight, a notion he’s come to realize meaning his mind is made up and no amount of convincing will save him now. I-i’m sorry Dejun, I just- I don’t think I can be the person for you. Not right now.” In the quietness of the dorms, Dejun knows his answer.

_**—— nine** _

As much as it pains him, Dejun knows Ten is right. A full blown relationship isn’t something either of them should commit to, regardless of if they can. There is no time fo dates, or time alone together, and they just barely got chances to sneak away and fuck. Dejun knows this but he’s childish and he still wants Ten so bad. So he waits for him, he ignores him, and waits till he understands where he’s coming from. All of Dejun’s thoughts are childish, but this is where he understands the three year age gap they have. Age really isn’t always a number.

He doesn’t talk to Ten for a while afterwards. Things go on normally, or as normal as you can with what happened, and they really just end up ignoring each other and refusing to talk to each other and/or answer any questions. But on camera it’s almost like a switch has been flipped on him, from Dejun’s point of view. Suddenly, after watching footage and clips of their variety content it feels like Ten suddenly has a new awakening in terms of talking about him. He watches videos of ten teasing him, Ten praising him, and even their infamous fanchant go viral. He even spots an old video from back when they were still doing RainbowV where Ten plays a piano and the fans point out the way he’s looking at him.

Off camera, though, he acts like Dejun doesn't exist and goes about his day. Though, to be fair, Dejun does not fare much better. The album drops spectacularly, but Dejun feels all alone amidst all the success. Yangyang and Kun seem unsure on how to go about everything, but dejun waves them off. He can deal with this himself, whenever Ten wants to talk. _If_ he even does. Dejun knows that Ten has stuff going on, but he wants to be with him

Which leads him to his current situation, mulling over Ten’s beautiful chipped black nails while also avoiding Ten’s eyes across the dinner table. It’s been about a week since the day things really _happened._ Ten seems the same, if anything more distant like he was when they first debuted. Yangyang still spends 25/8 hours next to him, which doesn’t seem to annoy Dejun as much as Yangyang’s insistent asking if it’s okay. It’s okay. Everything is fine. Mostly.

“What’s the plan for tomorrow?” Sicheng asks as Kun sets down his and his own plate in front of them. He, Lucas, and Sicheng made simple fried rice with some other chinese and korean side dishes to go along with it. As Dejun awaits his answer he digs in, and it’s really good, as expected from the groups cooks.

“Nothing much, just a vlive.” He responds and Dejun sighs. That’s good, less work, more time to mope. More time to sleep and avoid his feelings and _not_ confront the source of his problems.

“No!” Yangyang speaks up and Kun turns to him with a slight glare. “Sorry, but I- i wanna take Dejun out.” He looks over at him shyly. “If that’s okay…”

“Yeah of course.”

Ten perks up, and Dejun watches as he glances over at him. “Where?”

“Does it matter?” Dejun snaps. “Am I suddenly not allowed to spend time with my best friend?”

Ten presses his lips together and Kun gives them both a look. “No, I’m sorry.”

The immediate submission Ten has for him makes Dejun hurt more than slightly on the inside. He doesn’t want him to feel like he can’t talk to him, he wants him as comfortable as possible around him. A pang of hurt seems to resonate through Dejun’s body. He looks down at his plates and tries to ignore what just happened. God he hates himself. Dejun looks over at him again before looking back at his plate silently. He’s not one to get mad usually, and Dejun really doesn’t know what came over him to suddenly talk to him like that. He’s certain if it were anyone else, he’d be punished. But it isn’t. It’s Ten. the person he loves. He doesn’t need punishment, because hurting him hurts himself even more. Sometimes, on camera, he can forget that anything really happened but off-camera it’s inevitable to face the consequences and outcomes of his choices. It’s weird, since most of their members including himself would mark him as the mood maker of their group, but he supposes with all this drama he isn’t, not anymore. Not in this situation.

A few seconds later, with a sigh he picks up his plate and heads to the kitchen. He hears Kun say something to ten, and the feeling returns. Why should he be punished when all of this is his fault? He really doesn’t know. Dejun empties the remnants of his plate into the trash can, but when he turns to the sink he sees Sicheng standing there, holding his cup. “What's going on with you and Ten? At first, you were so close, then even closer, and now you’re fighting. Did he do something to you, or you to him?”

Dejun looks down at the dirty plate he holds, feeling all of the feelings and memories well up. “I don’t really wanna talk about it. It’s just a lot for me right now. I’m sorry ge.”

“It’s okay.” Sicheng gives him a soft smile. “Does Kun know what happened? He seems too, Kun’s the leader _and_ your roommate so I’d hope so.”

“Yeah, and Yangyang, and maybe Hendery I’m not sure. I didn’t want everyone to know.”

“Privacy is okay.” Sicheng smiles and sets his cup down in the sink before he speaks up again. “Sort whatever you have going on out though, we’re one, wayv, we have to stay together.”

“I know, I’m sorry we can figure it out, probably.” Dejun thinks back to the way Ten had looked at him as he let go of his hand. He thinks back to the firm way he had let go of his hand and scooted away from him. He thinks back to the way it felt like his world shattered in two seconds. He thought about how in the past week or so Then had practically ignored him and went out of his way to avoid conversation with him. “I hope.”

Sicheng comes close as Dejun drops his plate in the sink, almost caging his arms around him with how all he is and giving him a big hug. They stand there in the kitchen for a few moments before Dejun looks up at him with a smile, pulling away. “Thank you gege. That means a lot.”

“Of course, it’s my job to always be here for you.”

_**——ten** _

Things escalate, again Dejun knows that him doing dumb things is really getting out of hand, when the music core preformane comes around. Ten actually **does** dye his hair pink and Dejun tries not to watch him too much. They perform the song the same as normal, and dejun tries to forget about everything that’s happening. The dance is easy, he’s been doing this for a while, and soon Dejun is relaxing in the waiting room area with the other members. He’s been feeling particularly important these past few weeks, and maybe it relates to not being around Ten or whatever.

He kinda wishes there was something he could do to de stress like the other members — because Lucas worked out, Kun made tracks, Yangyang wrote lyrics, Hendery gamed, Sicheng hung out with his former members and Ten spent ungodly amounts of time singing and dancing in the practice rooms. He wonders if it had anything to do with SM Rookies or when he was not doing anything for two plus years, but he knows he’ll never ask. Dejun kinda didn’t do anything before, he’s not a people person, not interested in making or doing a craft, so he kinda went with the flow Things never _got_ too much because he was always busying himself with doing something. Then Ten came along, and the worries of the comeback kind of went to his dick, if that even makes sense. Getting off with sex made him less worried, and it also gave him less time to think about things that might make him worry. Now he really isn’t sure what to do with all this energy, since

Dejun annoyedly taps his foot against the chair next to him with his head thrown back, looking at the ceiling as he thinks about things and tries to distract himself. Ten is across the room talking with Lucas about _something_ he really isn’t sure and he also doesn’t care. What he _does_ care is that it’s not _him_ talking with Ten and making him laugh. He wants to do that rather than sit bored in his makeup chair. The makeup noonas have already left, so they’re just waiting till all the groups get on the stage and do their thing.

Suddenly, he perks up when Ten starts speaking a bit louder. “Hey guys? I’m gonna head down to the lobby and get some snacks and drink. Does anyone want anything? It’s on me.” Dejun gets comfortable again. Ten probably wouldn’t want to get anything for him. While he may be hungry after the stage, that doesn’t mean he’s gonna bother him for a snack. Really, he’ll be fine without food till they get home, Dejun can wait. If I can’t convince myself, can I really convince anyone else that I’ve been okay these past few weeks?

Lately Dejun has also been feeling extremely childish, aside from having too much energy and nothing to put it into. He wants to run around and play or something, but instead he’s just at home, or at schedules. It’s not even his body that has too much energy, it’s his brain. He feels stupid and younger than his actual age, and mentally he could run a 5k before doing a mukbang. Childish, dumb, bored thoughts. He really has too much time on his hands.

With a sign, Dejun picks himself up, aiming to head to the bathroom and mentally destroy himself while staring at his tired expression in the mirror.

“Where are you going?” Kun asks before he leaves. Dejun turns back to him at the door and gives him a tired smile. “Just the bathroom gege, I’ll be back soon.” Kun nods, and Dejun slips through the door and let’s it shut behind himself.

He nervously looks around the hall once free from his pesky members, and he sees Ten walking ahead. Then his eyes fall on the small janitors closet. He needs to stop listening to himself. Like now, right now, do not do ths Dejun that is exual assault, against the law, you’re gonna get fired and be outcast from the group for not one but for two reasons- oh no. There he goes.

From where Ten stands in the hallway, he can’t see Dejun. But Dejun can see him and everything is perfect. It happens in almost slow motion, Dejun comes out of the hallway and surprises Ten before he pushes him into the janitor's closet, and presses his body up close to him and runs his fingers through his hair.

“Dejun,” Ten whispers, with eyes hooded already and in a breathless voice.

“I’m sorry.” he whispers back, but he really isn’t since he is already tugging down Ten’s pants, and boxers, ready to suck his dick into oblivion.

“Sh-houldn’t we talk about this first?”

“Yes,” Dejun agrees, but then his dick is in his hand, he’s pumping it, and he’s looking up through his lashes at Ten with a devilish smirk and he knows he’s fucked. “But I’m childish, stubborn, and so also no, no talking right now.”

Ten’s head hits the back of the closet with a sigh and he has to force down all the sounds of pleasure he wants to make. “God, Dejun.” He moans as he tries his best to start giving him head. He’s severely inexperienced, but he’s also enthusiastic enough so he hopes it makes up for it in the long run. It seems to be working though, since Ten can’t seem to keep quiet from up top. “Dejun- God- you’re gonna be the death of me.”

“We both will gege, you really are the real menace, i just learned from the best.”

Ten threads his fingers through Dejun’s hair from on bottom. “You really did huh?”

Dejun moans around his dick and Ten feels his head hit the back of his closet again from how good it feels. Maybe Dejun did learn from him and he’s at fault here. That seems most likely, he really is the worst influence. His fingers run down his shoulders and he squeezes his shoulders to keep composure but Dejun only looks up at him while practically impaling himself around his dick.

“You know, I’ve been missing you.” Ten sighs out. “Was gonna go talk to you tomorrow, about,” He waves his hands around before slumping back against the wall.

Dejun moans around him again, and Ten feels himself bucking slightly into his mouth. Dejun doesn’t say anything about the movement and Ten brings a hand up to his mouth to keep himself quiet. He feels his high coming, and warns Dejun with a little moan, but he simply keeps on going at it like the way Ten did their first night. He feels a sense of deliriousness wash over himself when he finally cums and Dejun swallows him down. When Ten looks down he wipes off some stray liquid off his face like it’s nothing and he feels himself slumping against the wall just a tiny bit. He really shouldn’t be allowed to look this beautiful after going down on him. It’s a true crime. “This, shit, fuck, who allowed you to be like this.”

“I love you too,” Dejun breathes out, looking up again.

“Come here,” Ten paws at his chest as Dejun gets up from the ground and smashes their lips together. Ten tastes like the cola he had probably bought from wherever he went to get food. Dejun probably tastes like Ten’s cum—which is pretty disgusting since he doesn’t eat fruit, and that it’s cum but Ten doesn’t seem to care. Both of their lipsticks mix in with their kissing, and Dejun chases him as his hands claw at his body and he surges forward. He slides his thigh in between their legs, and Ten falls slightly like putty in his hands.

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” He mutters against Dejun’s lips, pulling back out of breath and looking like a dream.

“You can blame it on me.” Dejun laughs a little bit.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter, Kun will still blame me.” Ten’s eyes fall back and his head comes down to Dejun's head because of their heigjht difference and he lets out a few deep breaths, calming down from his high of adrenaline.

Dejun nuzzles his neck. “Mmh, then I’ll just tell him to his face that I didn’t have to use the bathroom and came to suck you off.”

Ten laughs. “Please don’t. It’s fine. Hey, you looked hungry over there, why don’t you go back and try not to smile.” Dejun laughs. “Try not to smile and I’ll get you something. What do you want?”

“I dunno, did they have seaweed packs? Like the ones 127 did a commercial for?”

Ten purses his lips, looking down at him. “Not just 127, I was in that too, how could you not know?” Dejun laughs at his whining. “But yeah, not the same brand but I know what you want.”

“Thank you gege.” Dejun says with a purposeful suggestive tone in his voice.

“God I hate you.”

Later that night, Dejun sneaks out to a convenience store and buys a six pack of beers before texting Ten too meet him on the roof for stargazing. He knows the light pollution will make it impossible to see anything, but he’s still majority imprint and wants to hear from him how he is okay with this. He also wants to make clear of what they are, and what this relationship between them will look like from here on out. Sitting on the rooftop is something he's frequently done with Yangyang and Hendery--or even alone--when he just needs some space to think.

Ten comes up the stairs eventually, out of breath but smiling, and he flops down on the roof next to Dejun. His hair is a soft pink and dejun feels an overwhelming urge to jump up and run his fingers through it, but instead, he smiles and hands him a beer. “Hi.”

“Hello. What’s all this about?”

“I just wanted to talk.” Dejun looks down before looking up again. “Nothing sexual, please just us, and the skyline of Seoul to witness.”

“Sounds fun.” Ten sighs before looking over at him. “I can tell how you're bursting at the seams to tell me what’s bothering you. I’ll probably get hurt and shit, but it’s better to lay on things like this raw, and I’ll do my best to answer.” His eyes find Dejun's, even while he opens his can and takes a sip. It should make him nervous, it it only makes Dejun feels better that his eyes are only on him.

“Tell me why you rejected me in the first place.” Dejun asks, wincing a bit at the forwardness of his question but still looking to Ten for an answer. He takes a big sip, and Dejun takes that time to explain himself a bit. “Like I know why but tell me anyway, I wanna hear directly from you.”

Ten smiles, looking down at his lap before he presses his lips together and looks over at him. “If I’m gonna date you, I wanna be there for you.”

“Where does it come from?”

“It’s a long story I-”

Dejun fixes him with a long look and a groan as he relaxes his body back on the palms of his hands and reaches over to lightly punch him and kiss his cheek before he returns to his position. He really doesn’t care, he has all night to listen to him and if this takes three minutes or three hours, Dejun will sit through it for him. Only the moon and the glittering skyscapes of Seoul are going to be their guests tonight. “I have all night for you.”

“Fine.” Dejun nodded his head. “After I first debuted, I realized I had a lot of time on my hands because Sm kind of shoved me back in the basement till twenty-eighteen. I started making friends with people other than my group mates and I met Kun. We hung out because, even back then he liked making beats and putting covers together, so he mixed music and I danced. After a while, I started regularly hooking up with Kun. We were young and dumb—or at least I was dumb, he was just young, so we messed around. When empathy came, he really thought SM was giving him a chance, so he proposed we cut things off. I agreed, but I told you I was young and dumb so I kept on going back, and he let me. I've known kun for a long time, and if your really close to him it's scarily easy to hurt him. So _don't_ do it.

“We both knew a relationship was out of the question. We were idols, he just debuted,” Dejun winces at how similar this sounds but Then he keeps on going. “but we were stupid and bored since SM barely let us do shit.” A sigh makes its way into his next words. “When WayV was first starting, he told me we would never work. I never walked into it looking for love, and if he did I’ll never know, but he told me that we had to stop. At first, I thought we would just fall back, but we didn’t, and I brushed it off. I';ve done a lot of dumb things, but what I did next really makes me wonder if i even deserve a relationship with anyone." Ten doesn't look at him, and his voice doesn't crack, but Dejun knows him enough to understand him.

“When you came along, I honestly thought you and Yangyang or you and Hendery, or—heck—all three of you were doing something. I was wrong obviously, but that isn’t important. Yangyang caught my eye at first,” Dejun takes a sharp inhale of breath through his nose. “I’m sorry,” he looks away from the sky with apologetic look and Dejun waves him off to keep on going. “Ten, it's okay.” He nods, looking down. “He was too young anyway and I knew he’d get scared or open his mouth too much. Hendery was next, we were rooming, but he’s straight so I only sucked his dick before we promised to forget about it.

“Then there was you. We were never close, slightly, but not really, and you keep to yourself so much that I was interested. I shouldn’t of been, since I literally didn’t get anything out of Yangyang and Hendery but I was, and then I got scared. You were exactly what I feared, inexperienced but ready to learn, and part of me worried, still worries, that it’s all gonna got to shit.” He takes a breath and smiles at the sky. “At first, I just ignored what I felt, but then I couldn’t stop looking, because you're so damn beautiful and at my core I’m just a very weak man.

“When you confessed, I was so scared, I didn’t want to mess up and like Kun and I, so I thought the smarter move was just letting go. But it wasn’t, because my feelings stayed, and yours did too as we can tell,”

Dejun snickers. “One way to put it.”

“So at that point I was like fuck it, maybe going about this the way Kun did isn’t the best idea.” Ten looks over at Dejun, who smiles brightly, even in the dark of the night. “Then you did something about it first, but I don’t mind, it just means I can call you mine longer and a little earlier.”

Dejun smiles again and leans over to press a kiss to his cheek. It’s light, innocent, but conveys so much. “I honestly thought I was being childish, I missed you, yeah, but I thought you’d just come to your senses in a few days.” He looks down at his outstretched legs. “And then you didn’t, and I didn’t know what to do. I’ve been so lost these past few weeks, I wanted to talk to you but I didn’t want you to reprimand me. But Seeing you walk out this morning, I dunno, it just sparked something and then I was thinking about me and let my thoughts run. Before I knew it I had you pressed up in the janitors closet.”

“You liked it.” Dejun smirks, tipping his head back as he downs the rest of his can of beer.

Ten smiles at his cheekiness. “I did.”

“So, relationship-wise, what are we?”

Ten looks over at him with a soft and unreadable look. “Whatever makes you feel happy, I’ll be anything for you.”

“Can we be boyfriends?” Dejun suggests and Ten smiles at him, getting up from where he sits to come near his face.

He scoots over to where he sits, setting the can down before leaning over and capturing Ten’s lips. He leans over and softly kisses Ten on the mouth, with no vigorousness and just tenderness and innocence. It's unlike any other kiss they've shared, and Dejun has kissed Ten a lot. Every time in the past had Dejun kissed Ten, or Ten kissed him it was always so desire filled and sexual. But this time it's familiar and different at the same time. Ten is such a diverse person in general, with four languages under his belt, having lived in three countries and knowing so much more about the world. He's so easily become enamoured with him in less than three months, and it amazes him to no end. Ten kisses Dejun softly and lazily, and they kind of just sit there, leaning across, lips connected with only the skyline of Seoul to witness. Soon enough Ten pulls back with a breathless look on his face, and Dejun takes that as a notion to sit in his lap. His head comes and rests in the crook of Dejun's neck, and he lets out a happy and content sigh.

“We _can_ be boyfriends.”

Things are gonna be allright.

**Author's Note:**

> and if i told you i did this primarily because ten kept on saying dejun's name during the fan chant but dejun barely even glanced at him... what would you do?
> 
> [ curious cat ](https://curiouscat.me/litteralydonghyuck)  
>    
> [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/pR38RElQQxK1iiu)


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